The Third Anniversary of my Brain Surgery 11/03/18

As it is the 3rd anniversary of my brain surgery I thought I would talk about it a bit. I’ve talked a lot about what happened but not how I felt because on the whole, that’s just not what I’ve done.

So initially I wasn’t too worried by the first symptoms of my arm going weak and me not being able to play guitar (I really should have been). It was when I got the Drs and they started to think I had suffered a stroke. A stroke a 26 this can’t be right, it was at that point when my symptoms started to worsen, I began to vomit and I struggled to concentrate enough to communicate properly, I couldn’t work my phone to call people to tell them what was going on. A health care assistant at the Drs ended up explaining what had happened and that I was being taken in an ambulance to Scunthorpe Hospital. At this point I was scared but didn’t really think my life was in any danger, I walked myself to the ambulance and talked with the ambulance crew on the way to the hospital (as best I could I was struggling).

Post surgery phot

I was in Scunthorpe A&E for a while and they performed a scan which found 2 brain abscesses and I was transferred to Hull Royal Infirmary. My memory is a little fussy but at some point between Scunthorpe and Hull, I gave up and had resigned myself to dying. One of the few things I do remember clearly prior to surgery is being asked to sign the consent form and not wanting to. I remember the surgeon explaining to me that I would die without surgery and even with it my odds weren’t good. There was a high probability of long term problems afterwards, none of which surprised me and I remember thinking, NO FUCK THAT!. I don’t to live being unable to look after myself or be independent, I don’t want this surgery but with everyone present and the high probability I would die anyway. Instead of upsetting everyone I signed it thinking I’d die and nobody would need to know.

Post surgery image 34 staples
34 Staples, 1 Stitch and a hell of a bald patch

Since then there have been times when I’ve been low and getting wound up with my on going problems, like my migraines that I’ve wished I hadn’t signed it but in truth, that was a time when my anxiety and not wanting to upset others has actually worked out well for me.

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